Buzzing bee
Go away from me
Clear out my head
I can no longer stand
Do something common
So I will not summon
All those moments
That now torment

II.

Buzzing bee
Buzzes around his hive only
Leave his hive he cannot
Envision travels he cannot
Buzzing bee
Buzzes out of terror
Stings out of fear
Attacks out of insecurity
In constant worry he lives
Of not fulfilling his basic needs
When he is actually able
To find his own honey

III.

Thank you, bee
Now I finally see
You belong to a flock
Just like any other in stock
As you grew common
I shall easily summon
All those moments
When for you I lament

Thank you, bee
For now I continue safely
To find the true buzz
Shan’t be covered with rust
Stay if you want
Go if you can’t
My head is clear
You no longer I fear

Written in February 2008.

For from our birth to death,
we are tools of nature,
knowing not when nor why,
nor how to fix this fracture.
For we are children of the crack of time,
children without any stature.

Thus the actions of our hands
amounted only to one gesture.
The clasp, the kneel, the need,
the feeling we might wither,
without The Hands that feed,
The Hands that pull the trigger.

Written in November 1, 2007. Felt very inspired by “Dead Poets Society”.

One more night
Just one more night
One more night
‘Cause I can’t live forever

Those lyrics serenaded by Phil Collins hovered around his head. Round and round the melody went, as he kept his eyes open in the middle of the night.

Beside him was a scent he grew too familiar of. The scent of a woman that conquered a major part of his heart. A woman who would fly across continents the next morning to pursue her dreams.

He sighed a heavy sigh. In the dark he could see perfectly how beautiful she was. Imperfectly beautiful. She, the strong heart with determination as stern as a boulder, and yet possesed the softness lighter than feather. She made his soul take flight. She made everything happen.

He knew perfectly that he never owned her. Her free soul belonged to the world, and he was lucky enough to spend more time than others with her. Lucky enough to bask in the attention of a woman with time so scarce and dreams so big. He had her long enough and it was time to let go.

If only he had one more night. One more night so he could find something to bind them in the morning and have one more night at rest knowing she would forever be his. He could do that, he knew, if only he had one more night. One more night to fulfill his selfish needs and proclaim that she was his. His heart ached as he put his ego aside. One more night was not rightfully his, and therefore he would forget that thought, in a minute.

The tears he could cry for this woman. The words he could sung, the colors he could paint… Anything was possible with her presence, she made him feel that way, he could jump to the highest mountain just to shout her name out loud so the cold mountain winds could pass her name on to the valleys and the valleys to the rivers and the rivers to the sea… So her name would be heard by the rest of the world.

He smiled to himself. Foolish thoughts and foolish words, belonging to the fool in love. Love brings out the best and the worst in people, and he enjoyed every part of it. So did she. She was not perfect, neither was he, but it was ok. They were just fine.

Well, balance has to be distrupted every once in a while. That is necessary to achieve progress. Painful as it may seem, letting go is the only way he could see her soar. And how he long to see her soar. All she needed was a little wind under her wings, and he had the power to blow it.

Tonight was all he got, and he was thankful for it. One more night would be too much and too selfish. He rested his mind at ease while keeping his eyes open to enjoy a sight he would forget after a while. The beauty of two people’s temporary existence was embodied that night. Mortality brings such bliss.

Written in July 18, 2007. On my way home from work, listening to “One More Night” in a Saxophone Solo version on the radio.

II.

That day was the day. The day she would board on an airplane that would take her away from the people she loved. A metal bird that would take her out of her comfort zone, out of her nation, to seek the truest form of herself.

She kept her head down from the moment they set foot on the Airport. He noticed but he understood her enough not to ask questions. They both knew what to do, hard as it was, and everything would be just fine. After a while.

Their relationship came up to the point that they enjoy each other’s presence. Their bounds go beyond words and mere facial expression. They understood the universal concept of complement. He was there to complement her and vice versa, for a time being. People change and it’s ok. People need to evolve, and sometimes we need to let go of things we hold dear in order to participate in that process.

How she wanted to stay. One more night, she heard him humming a song the night before, but she acted like she was asleep. It was painful, nobody could deny that, but it needed to be done. If she had opened her eyes, he would ask for another night, a selfish request, and she would not be able to deny the request. She loved him too much.

As her throat became choked and tears started to form in the corner of her eyes, he put his palms on her shoulders. For the first time in this hour, she held up her head and looked into his eyes. He knew she was going to cry, he smiled.

“I love you beyond reason.”, he proclaimed. His eyes were deeper than her thoughts. She held her breath.

For a moment, universe stood still. There was just two pairs of eyes exchanging meaning without form, in a way that was incomprehensible but understandable.

She lifted her hands and brought him closer. She sunk her face in his chest and inhaled his presence deeply, for the last time. And she bursted in tears.

For as strong as she was, she was still a woman. A woman might use anything to conceal meaning, but a woman cannot hold back honest tears.

He held her as long as she wanted, and when she lifted her head, he knew it was time to let go.

“I love you because your soul reaches out to me, as my soul reaches out to you. They binded with the strongest bounds I’ve never known before.” She whispered those words softly in his ears. He smiled and knew, it was time.

Their time was finished and they both knew it. As she walked further from him, she did not look back. He watched her as he always did, without the slightest regret.

“I know you well enough.” He mumbled to himself as he turned, heading to the exit.

Written in July 7, 2007.

Written in December 2, 2007.

Do you think the things in our lives happen randomly? Do you think we are here by chance, perhaps by a glitch in the universe that allows wretched beings called man roam the earth? I don’t think so. However some might argue, there is a grand design. There is a purpose, otherwise life would be meaningless, wouldn’t it? I mean, why would we want to pursue anything in life if the results are based on chance only?

We say the universe is in chaos, yet what we mean by “universe” is just “the places people inhabit in this earth”.

Many times our brains are just too small, our eyes are just too narrow that we could not comprehend how big this world is. How we are just a teeny tiny part of it. We are very limited, and in order for us to feel superior, we force our limitations on other things: on other people, on nature, on God, even. Yet deep down we feel that void, that sense of vulnerability and helplessness that we can’t figure out why it’s there nor how to cope with it.

When we try to see things beyond our prejudices, our judgement and our limitations, we might get that eureka moment. That moment of inspiration, which means something just inspired you, something slipped inside your head and it’s not from within you.

That is when we can understand the message we’ve seen a thousand times but never understood. That’s when you can understand that even in the simplest events, God is there.

Written in November 28, 2007.

Let’s have a cup and let the conversation flow.